


I'm Glad (it's Jokerday)

by EsculentEvil



Series: EsculentEvil's BatJokes Shots [23]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Ace Chemicals, Anniversary, Birthday, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Dinner, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Metafiction, Super Sanity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-15
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2019-09-18 16:27:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16998501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EsculentEvil/pseuds/EsculentEvil
Summary: Celebrating Joker’s [second] birthday—when he “swims through chemical wastes” in ACE.Joker invites Batman to dinner; Batman's surprisingly sincere about it.Originally posed on my Tumblr @esculentevil on July 11th (the day Joker [as Red Hood] fell into the vat).





	I'm Glad (it's Jokerday)

ACE Chemicals is just as decrepit as he remembers it.

Sure: there’s more dust settled than before; but that’s of no consequence. Multiple chunks of debris that were either the result of poor upkeep or gunshots or splashed chemicals or even a bomb going off ([What? I can’t keep track of ALL events and versions of me! It’s a miracle I even know which me is me!](https://esculentevil.tumblr.com/post/175633651069/headcanon-confession-12-joker-singularity)) litter the floor and walls and catwalks—most of which are in their own state of death.

Joker giggles at that: everything here is still dying.

He wonders if that still includes him.

* * *

The Bat arrives with little sound and a lot of suspicion.

It pours off him in waves and vibrates right off the page (We’re comic book characters, after all!) as though he’s shaking their world (And he probably is.).

Joker turns to greet him.

Batman frowns.

* * *

(Well, nothing new there.)

He doesn’t let it bother him. Instead, he steps aside and gestures grandiosely at the setup behind him: a scene lit by a waning crescent and destroyed ceiling.

Batman stares, “... You... invited me for dinner.”

It’s a question, really, but the Bat is too stupefied to sound it right. Joker giggles. He then nods and twirls around to seat himself. Once he’s settled, he looks at the Bat imploringly and displays the chair waiting across from him with his hands together and open, palms up to show he has nothing, and a hopeful smile.

At least, he’s pretty sure it’s hopeful [Harley tried but his smiles are always...].

Regardless of the answer [It’s Batman; he’d brave anything ~~for his clown~~ ], the masked vigilante strides forward after a quick debate and settles into the chair. Joker grins and tries not to squeal like the giddy fool he is: it’s best to at least **try** and be serious about all of this; it’s an important day, after all, for them both.

“Why am I here?” the Bat asks gruffly, ice blue eyes gazing with cold curiosity at the table set before him (Interesting... He trusts me and my cooking... he he~!).  


Joker smiles and leans back, gesturing again at the silver dome covering a plate sitting in front of his Bat before spreading his arms apart as though asking for an embrace; he doesn’t get one, “Why, to feast, of course! And to celebrate~.”

* * *

Batman frowns.

Joker grins.

The silver domes glimmer.

A cloud passes under the moon and makes the room even dimmer.

* * *

The cloud passes and the Bat nods at him.

Joker squeaks—the result of him cutting off his squeal—and eagerly removes the cloche covering his other half’s meal. The removal shows of a fillet of salmon topped with rosemary and lemons; scoops of mashed potatoes seasoned with garlic and butter snuggled to the side of the salmon; and some steamed broccoli heads (he he he~ Steamed **heads**! Get it?! HA HA HA!) added for a bit of green.

“I know you like lobster more,” Joker explains, “But this girl isn’t perfect~”  


Batman stares down at the meal before nodding, “I understand.” He then lifts his fork and shovels in. Literally: he’s not Bruce Wayne and Joker wouldn’t want him to be—that’s never who Joker wants him to be—so there’s no sense in delicacy.

Joker sighs and watches him eat—happy.

It doesn’t take long for this to end—there’s only so much food, after all—but when it does... Batman sets down his fork and replaces his silver cloche. He then gazes at the other man across from him, ignoring his untouched plate.

“Happy Birthday, Joker;” ( _I’m glad you’re still with me; I’m glad you were born._ ).  


The Bat leaves in utter silence—as all his suspicion is gone—and the Clown smiles in the dark, staring—helplessly in love—at the textbox of Bats’ thoughts.

**Author's Note:**

> This became way more personal and headcanon heavy than I intended: but I hope you like it. The thing that happens at the end (the "textbox") is actually a concept I've taken to calling _paneling_ ; which is when The Joker's Super Sanity/Meta-ness allows him to see dialogue, thoughts, sound effects, and movement as they appear to **us** (panels on a comic page, cartoon story board, etc). This means that Joker's literally reading Batman's mind. =)
> 
> Special thanks to [@aprilgtomlinson](https://tmblr.co/mExnHQm0BwhCwpr9JST7PlQ) and [their calendar post](https://esculentevil.tumblr.com/post/173299183270/aprilgtomlinson-dc-calendar) which I’m still referencing. xD


End file.
